So in the last few months since getting back from my travels around what used to be Yugoslavia I have kinda settled into a routine… and I’m really not feeling it at all.
I recently made a decision to go back to Croatia in the summer and it really wasn’t something I took lightly. I have questioned myself 100’s of times and am still doing so with no real answer that I’m 100% happy with. Here’s what my brain goes through on a daily basis;
- it’s got to be better than this
- where to next?
- your 22 get your shit together
- your only 22 it’s ok not to have your shit together
- but what if you miss the boat?
- if you miss the boat there’ll be another boat
- what will people think of me?
- life’s too short
- lots of other happy travel quotes about adventure
- stop running away
And that’s what it boils down to… am I running away or getting away? And are the two really all that different? Without going into too much detail (and completely f’ing up my career) I am in a job in the industry I can see myself staying in yet I’m really not happy. I’m sure there are lots of factor’s to this and I’m well aware it’s only been a few months but I have this voice in my head saying stop over thinking things and do what you know makes you happy.
And what makes (made) me happy was being in Croatia.
As I mentioned, I’m 22, not old by any means and I’m sure lots of people with years on me will be rolling their eye’s telling me to get a grip. But for someone who is a well practiced over thinker it’s really not that easy. The ever impending thing called life is creeping up on me and as a typical graduate with a practical degree I just don’t know what path I want to take… I wish I could be that person that didn’t think months, years and decades in advance but I am and unfortunately that makes making decisions now a complicated mess, and yes I know I only have myself to blame for that.
I want to be sensible but more than anything I want to enjoy my youth and not be that person that regrets too many choices. I want to look back and say yes I loved that experience and ok maybe it put me a year behind but in that year I experienced culture, friendship and was a little bit selfish and ya no what… that’s ok. I think.
Sorry this is a bit ranty and it’s my first post in ages but sometimes it’s good to vent. Back to travel topics soon!